Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:06] Welcome to the Second Row Conversations podcast. I'm Letitia, also known as Lady P. And I'm excited to be here with you on today. It is May, guys. Already this year is flying by. You speak to anyone, talk to anyone. Everyone's been saying the same thing. This year is going really fast. Time is not reading for anyone. So, um, but we're excited to be back with you for this week's episode. May is recognized as Mental Health Awareness Month. And so this month, I want to talk to you about becoming mentally healthy. Becoming and remaining. Staying mentally healthy. Um, and so this month, my plan is to have some guests on that are going to talk about how we do that, how we are able to work on our mental health and be okay with whatever life brings us. And so today is going to be a little introduction to that, and I look forward to this month's conversations with our guests. So your mind matters. That's what we're going to talk about today. And the importance of mental health. Your mind matters. Um, and so, like I said, this month is Mental Health awareness month. You see, I got my green folder. Green is the color for Mental Health awareness Month. And so, you know, we just really. I just really want to touch bases with you, check in, see how you doing. Um, and we're gonna just talk all things mental health this month. Okay?
[00:01:33] Um, so today, today we're gonna talk about understanding and valuing our mental health. Especially again, doing Mental Health Awareness Month. We want to shine a light on why your mind matters. Okay? Mental health is not a luxury, is a necessity. Just like we take care of our physical health, and we're gonna talk a little bit more about that. Just like we take care of our physical health, we have to take care of our mental health as well. Okay, so why are we talking about mental health awareness during this specific month? Mental health affects everyone. We're here to today to normalize these conversations and emphasize that support is indeed available. Like I said earlier, mental health is just as important as our physical health.
[00:02:21] Mental health and taking care of our mental health has become a stigma. If you talk to someone and say, hey, you know, how are you?
[00:02:31] Are you seeing a therapist? Maybe you need to see a theoret. See a therapist. The first thing someone may think is, I'm not crazy, and no one's saying says that you are, but we want people. I want you, and I want to be mentally healthy. Um, and because of that stigma, many people suffer in silence. Um, one statistic I found is that 1 in 5 US adults experience mental illness each year, 1 in 5 US adults, schools and churches should be a safe space. Um, we now have school based therapists in our schools. I remember growing, growing up, we didn't have that. You didn't talk about your mental health. You just kind of dealt with whatever you were going through and that was just it. You talked to your parents or talked to your friends, but that was about it. But now we have realized the importance of making sure that we talk about being mentally healthy and understanding what that means and church as well. And that's another focus that we're going to have this month is talking about mental health and in the church and talking about how we can support each other, how we can support our family and our friends to become mentally healthy. Okay.
[00:03:50] All right, let's go to my next set of notes. So what is mental health? Mental health is more again than the absence of illness. It's about being emotionally balanced, self awareness, and having strong relationships. It includes emotional, psychological and social well being. It affects how we think, how we feel and how we act. So it's more than when you hit a word, mental health. Again, some people think, oh, that means you're going crazy. That means you are delusional. I haven't. That's not what it means. It's making sure that we are well emotionally, psychologically and socially. It affects how we, like I said, like I said, how we think, how we act and how we feel.
[00:04:37] Stress management, emotional regulation, self awareness, healthy relationships, all of those are key components in talking about mental health. Now, stress management, we all deal with stressful situations.
[00:04:53] There's a level of, I guess you could say good stress. But when it gets to the point where it is affecting your daily life, then we need to talk about it. Then we need to probably seek out some help because there are some people who just cannot deal with life on a day to day basis because of the amount of stress that they're under. Whether it's through work, through relationships, through just life, lifing. Sometimes stress can feel like it's going to overtake you. So we have to learn how to manage that stress.
[00:05:28] Emotional regulation, how to deal with situations that come upon you and how you regulate it. Do you just fly off the handle? Do you just lose your cool? Do you go to 100 really, really fast? Or do you learn how to regulate it? How to talk. Sometimes you have to talk yourself through situations. And I know people like, don't talk to yourself. Sometimes you have to talk yourself down. That's important. Learning how to regulate your emotions and self awareness, being aware of who you are and being okay with who you are, that's important.
[00:06:05] And being authentically you and being okay with it, knowing who you are and knowing how you fit into the world, knowing how you fit within your society and your community, that's important. And then healthy relationships. Oh, my goodness.
[00:06:23] Not just a relationship, but being in a healthy relationship, and we talk about this at school often to our students, is understanding what a healthy relationship looks like. It shouldn't be one where you are always stressed, always having anxiety. It should be one where even if there are conflicts, that you know how to handle that conflict in a good way. Not one where you are afraid to speak up or afraid to be able to be who you are. You have to lower yourself down or you have to fight your way through situations. That's not a healthy relationship. And so all of those components play a part in making sure that you are mentally healthy. Okay, what are some signs that you're struggling? What. What does that look like? Mental health struggles can show up in many ways.
[00:07:15] There are signals that help is needed. It's not signs that they're failures. It's just letting you know that help is needed. So what are some of those signs? Feeling overwhelmed or feeling hopeless.
[00:07:27] Changes in your sleep. You're sleeping too much, are not sleeping enough. And you know, like, you know, there are times where you don't get enough sleep because you stayed up late at night or you watched a movie or just you have some. Some tasks that you are trying to take care of. But when it comes to a point where you are tossing and turning all night long and just cannot go to sleep, or if as soon as you get home and you sleep and you sleep all evening, all night, and you just cannot get yourself to get up to take care of things that need to be taken care of, then that is a sign that you're struggling. Okay?
[00:08:06] Isolation. When you don't want to be around other people, when you're feeling like, I just need to be by myself because I don't. My social meter is completely off. And there's a time where sometimes our social media meters are off. Like, we are just done. We're tired, We've been around a lot of people and we're done. Overstimulated, right?
[00:08:28] Because sometimes that's. I get like that as well. It's like, okay, I just need some quiet. But when it gets to a point where you don't want to be around anyone and you just isolated, you're not doing the things you used to do. You're not around your friends, you're not around your family, you just want to be by yourself all the time, then that's a sign that you're struggling. Trouble focusing.
[00:08:48] Let's say you have at work, your boss, your supervisor gives you a task and you try to start it and you can't stay focused. You start doing something else and doing something else. And honestly, I'll be transparent. I have undiagnosed adhd. That's me talking. I've diagnosed myself. So, yes, I can be all over the place. I start this task, that task over here, over there, that's one thing. But if you cannot stay focused for a long period of time, like you have one task or one assignment that's been given to you, and even though you may veer off a little bit, you can come back. If you can't ever come back, then that's a sign that you're struggling. You cannot stay focused long enough to get anything accomplished. That's an issue.
[00:09:29] Physical symptoms, extreme fatigue. We talked about that earlier. When you're sleeping too much, your body is aching. One thing about our bodies, that is that it will let you know when you're off. Something's off when you're struggling.
[00:09:42] So your body aches, having headaches, sometimes high blood pressure for an extremely long time.
[00:09:49] Certain. Certain physical aches, physical illnesses will let you know that something is off. Okay, so those are. That's another sign. Struggling doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. Okay, so even if you have any of those symptoms that I spoke of previously, that doesn't mean that you are weak. It just means that, hey, it's a sign that something is going on and we need to figure out what it is and what we need to do to take care of it. Just like you have a physical ailment, just like if you have a headache for a very long time, you're going to go to the doctor to find out what's going on. If you've had the sniffles or cough for a very long time, you're going to go to the doctor and say, hey, I've had this cough. Find out what's going on. So same thing with anything that's not necessarily physical. But if you are feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, that's a sign that something's wrong and you need to go get some help. Okay? So that doesn't mean that you're weak. It just means that you're human.
[00:10:45] All right?
[00:10:49] So mental health and faith, okay?
[00:10:56] There's a statement, there's a phrase that I love and I've seen it on shirts, T shirts. I've hear people talk about it. And I said, I want to give me a shirt that says it.
[00:11:04] You can have Jesus and a therapist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, having Jesus and having a therapist. Okay. Because a therapist can help you talk through those issues, those concerns, those whatever you're going through. Okay? A therapist can help you talk through it. There are people in my life, very near and dear to my heart, who love the Lord with everything in them, and they have a therapist. Nothing wrong with that. I'm working on getting one for myself as well. Okay? So you can love the Lord and have a therapist. That has been a stigma in the church is that if you see a therapist, then that means you don't have faith, that you don't trust the Lord. That's not what that means. I promise you the Lord has placed people on this earth and given them the ability and the credentials that they need to help you go through whatever it is that you're going through. Okay? Scripture shows us that faith and emotional health are connected. Even biblical figures sought rest and expressed pain. And just for a few examples, and I'm going to give you an example, I'm going to give you the scripture so that you can go back and read it and see what we're talking about.
[00:12:13] Jesus withdrew to rest. Luke 5:16. And y'all know Jesus was working hard, doing the business of his Father. Okay? He worked hard. He once the people knew who he was and what he was doing and how he was healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, telling people, thou art whole. He was busy. He was out here working. And you don't think Jesus got tired? He was a physical being. So you don't think Jesus got tired? He withdrew to rest. Luke 5:16. Like I said, he went to go rest. And even in that y'all, sometimes he would go rest and people find out where he was and they went to him. Let's get his heart. Can you imagine? I know with me, when I need to go rest, I need rest. I need quiet. I need someone not to find me and follow me and ask me questions that need me to do anything. But Jesus rested and so can you. Can I get an amen? Amen. So don't feel like you have to always be going, going, going, going. I promise you today I've been going, going. For the last couple of weeks, it's been non stop. But I need to rest and I know it and I'm Going to work on that. So Jesus rested and so can you. Psalm 34, 17, 18. David cried out to God and I didn't bring my Bible, so I don't have it. I can't read it for you, but you make sure you go read it. David cried out to God. He was going through some things and he knew that everything that he was going through, he knew that he could call out to the Lord, he could call out to God and God would hear him and help him.
[00:14:00] God cares about the whole person. Mark 12 and 30 and Psalm 23 and 3, we all know the 23rd Psalm. So God cares about the whole person. On Sunday, pastor preached and he, he let us know that we are made up of this body, the spirit.
[00:14:20] And I'm missing one body, spirit and our soul.
[00:14:26] That might not be right. I'mma go back and check. But we have to be physically well, spiritually well and mentally well. That might be the three. I didn't bring my notes. But we have to be physically well. God wants us to be physically well, spiritually well and mentally well. Okay? So God cares about the whole person, the entire person, not just the spiritual side. He wants us to be mentally well also because we are out here representing him in everything that we do. And if we are struggling mentally, that is something that we need to give to him and he can help us and put us in the right place with the right people that can help us. Okay? So we have to remember that.
[00:15:13] Don't forget you can have Jesus in the therapist. Okay, so how do we take care of our mental health? How do you take care of your mental health? Practical steps can make a big difference in your mental well being. Faith supports healing. But it's okay to need help. So what are some ways prayer and journaling? I'm big on prayer and I'm big on journaling. So how do you pray? You just talk to the Lord, however you talk to him, right? So if you know that you're the person that just like, listen, God, like this is where I am and this is what I need you to do. I need your help with this.
[00:15:48] However you communicate. He made you so he knows everything about you. Okay? So nothing takes him by the surprise. And then journaling. Get in your book. Get a book. Walmart, Target, these stores have beautiful journals. Beautiful. And just write. You can write, you can make it bullet points, you can draw whatever helps you do that. Physical activity. Go out for a walk, go for a run, go out in nature, see what's out there. Do some activity that'll help get the blood circulating. And anytime you're feeling down and feel sometimes going outside, getting that sun, getting that vitamin D helps you mentally. So get out and get some physical activity. Talk to someone, whether it's a therapist, whether it's a friend, a pastor, someone that you really trust. Talk to someone again. Like I said, you can have Jesus and a therapist. So find someone that you. You trust and that you can talk to that can help you. Mention. Sometimes you just need someone to help you talk things through. Once it settles, it gets in your mind and everything is going on. There's so much going on, it becomes overwhelming, and you just need someone to help you talk it through.
[00:16:57] Therapy is nothing better. I tell anybody, therapy, set boundaries. My God, set boundaries with everyone. So the joke at my job is I set a boundary for my lunchtime now, where I used to keep my door open during my lunchtime and anybody could come in. Students, co workers, parents, whoever, anyone can come in and. And just interrupt my lunch time. I've set a boundary that is my quiet time. I talk all day long. I'm always interacting with people. I've learned that I need some time just to kind of reset, okay.
[00:17:40] Because I'm learning that sometimes I do get overstimulated and it is too much and I get overwhelmed. And so though that time is just my time to reset, just to kind of have some quiet time. Sometimes I'm on my phone just. Just to kind of get my mind away from what I have going on at work. So set boundaries. Set boundaries with your friends, Set boundaries with your family. If you know that certain things overwhelm you or stress you set boundaries. Hey, I don't want to talk about that today.
[00:18:12] Let's talk about that. Let's set another time to talk about it. Um, sometimes it's setting a. My husband and I went to a couple's retreat kind of setting. When he came back from Iraq, it was just kind of like reintegrating because he had been in Iraq for like, 14, 15 months. I was here, I was doing everything I needed to do here, taking care of my daughter, working, being a single parent, handling everything. He was coming in and it was going to be a little different. So we had to learn how to reintegrate, how to come back together, right? And so one of the strategies they taught us is if you're getting into an argument or a heated fellowship, as we, he and I like to call it, and you see it's about to go left, and it's going left real fast.
[00:19:01] Have A word that you can say that the other person will know. Okay, I need to step back.
[00:19:09] Okay. So whatever that word is, whatever you say, and it could be with your. Your spouse, your significant other, your children, whomever, just to say, hey, I. This is my word. And if I feel like it's going to get. Go left and it's not gonna be good, I'm gonna say that word. And that is your signal to just kind of back away, and then we'll come back together later. It helps set boundaries. Know what triggers, you know what triggers other people. And sometimes people have to set boundaries for you. Okay? But just understand that it's not a knock against you or against them, is just understanding for my mental health, for my stability, my peace. These are the boundaries. Okay? So set boundaries and rest.
[00:20:00] You have to rest physically and mentally. Okay? Like I said, go physical. Go do some physical. Physical activity. I'm sorry, Physical activity. Taking. Going for a walk, a nature walk. Listen to the birds. We hear them, but are you listening? They are beautiful. They're singing. Listen to the birds. Early in the morning, I take my dog out, and it's amazing. I just sit and listen to the different birds. They're singing, and it is amazing. So. But you have to rest and not just going to sleep, but actually resting. What does that look like for you? Does that look like going to the spa? Does that look like going for a nature walk? Does that look like going to the beach? What does that look like for you? Does that look like playing basketball? What does that look like for you? But you have to rest. Okay? So take care of your mental health. All right, let's bust some myths.
[00:20:56] As I stated earlier, Christians are not immune to mental health struggles. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It's an act of wisdom. That's so good. So some myths. We're gonna talk about a myth and then the truth. The myth. Christians shouldn't struggle mentally. That's a myth. The truth is we are human and we're spiritual. And so sometimes we struggle physically as well as spiritually.
[00:21:19] The myth, Prayer is all you need. The truth is, prayer is essential, but not a substitute for care. So you pray and you ask God to help you, and you ask God to bring you the resources that you need. And watch how he opens those doors. Help find the help that you need. Find the care that you need, but still talk to him. I'm not saying replace Jesus and replace prayer with the therapy, but the two can go hand in hand.
[00:21:46] And one last myth. Therapy equals weakness. Therapy Is wise. Seek the help they counselors. I'm a counselor. I'm a therapist. The other therapists that I know, they have been trained. They know what to do, they know how to walk you. We're not going to solve your problems, but we're going to help you walk through and talk it out and figure out what we can do to help you become mentally healthy. Okay, so how can the church and the school, how can they both help? How can both of those entities help?
[00:22:17] Churches and schools can become healing spaces. They can. They are a safe space. Start conversations. And we're going to talk a little bit more about that throughout the month. But start conversations in your church. Talk to your pastor, talk to the leaders in your church. Like, hey, can we talk about mental health? Can we have a time where we can do some sessions about the importance of mental health? Partner with Christian counselors. There are Christian counselors out there that are going to talk about both parts, the therapy and as well as how we can incorporate Jesus into the counseling sessions.
[00:22:53] Preach the full gospel that Jesus came so that we can live a life and live it abundantly. And what does that look like? That looks like being well physically and spiritually. Okay, so preach the full gospel and have support groups and workshops. Talk about it. Like I said, start conversations. Don't make it a stigma. Let people understand that they can feel safe in this space to, to disclose if they need to, that, hey, I'm struggling and I need help. And be a place where they. You can give them the resources that they need. Encourage one another. First Thessalonians 5 and 11, we have to encourage one another. Okay, so some encouragement and next steps.
[00:23:36] Understand that you are not alone. You are not alone. Reach out for support, whether that's through your family, your friends. Going online and finding out. Psychology Today is a great resource to find a therapist if you need one.
[00:23:52] Google Sister Google is amazing. Google and see if there's a therapist in your local area. Um, therapy for black girls. That's a great resource. You can help find. You can find some therapists that way as well. Start the conversation. Talk about it. Talk about it. Um, the first step is just acknowledging that there is a concern and just being open to have a conversation. And if someone comes to you to start the conversation, being open to hear what they have to say and help them practice daily self care. What does that look like for you? Practice. What does that look like for you? Does that look like going for that walk or going for a run or lifting weights? Does that look like playing A sport or reaching out to family and friends? Does that look like going to get your nails and toes? Like, what is your daily. What's your morning routine when you wake up? Getting up early, praying, writing in your journal? What does that. What does your night ritual look like? Lighting a candle, relaxing, Turning the TV off so that you can relax your mind. Your mind has been busy all day. What does that look like? Practice daily self care. Taking a long bath, taking a long warm shower. What does that look like?
[00:25:05] But practice it. And your mind matters. Taking care of your mind, sitting in quiet, meditating is so vital. It's important. So understanding what it takes for you to be mentally, mentally healthy, that looks different for different people. But know what works best for you.
[00:25:22] In closing, we close with hope. God invites us to find rest. Rest in Him. Healing is a journey we can walk together.
[00:25:31] And just one Last Scripture, Matthew 11:28 says, Come to me all who are weary. I will give you rest. Remember, Jesus rested so you can rest too. Physically and mentally. Don't feel like you have to constantly be running and, and that makes it feel like you are being successful. That's not what that means. Understand that you can pray. Ask God to help you and find the rest that you need every day.
[00:25:59] Don't overwhelm yourself. It's easy to get in that space where you're overwhelming yourself and feeling like, okay, I got to do this, be a busy bee. But being a busy bee, are you getting anything accomplished? Okay, so knowing and understanding when to rest, knowing and understanding when to seek out help, having those conversations, practicing daily self care, all of those things are important. And your mind matters. That's very, very important. So this month we're talking about mental health awareness. That's what we're going to talk about. That's what we're going to do. We're going to support each other. And I thank you for being on this journey with me. I'm going to be honest with you, it's been tough, but I'm learning. I appreciate you praying for me and loving on me when I see you. You're giving me words of encouragement and that means so much to me. Please remember to follow me on all podcast platforms. That's Apple, that's Spotify. Wherever you get your podcast, make sure you're on YouTube. Check us out on YouTube. I appreciate you. I thank you. I love you. And remember, no matter where you are, no matter where God has placed you, accept it, embrace it, and flourish in it. I'll see you next time.
